December 2010
22 posts
An Update.
I’m doing a lot better. I haven’t posted in a while, but I’m doing a lot better.
one last post.
being in psychiatric ward was the single most terrible thing to ever to happen to me. i’m not cured, but i’m better. i’m still weak, but i’m getting strong. i never want to drop to that point where i need to baker acted ever again. i’m going to go to sleep now.
i wrote so much while i was there, i journaled and wrote and listened. i have the weight of 1000 worlds...
just got out the hospital
i was baker acted for 90 hours in a psych ward.
i need time to myself. i won’t be on here for a couple of days..or longer, i hit the lowest point ever in my life.
i just attempted suicide
evertying is bvlurry i cant walk not one of you will care honestly but i thought i didnt want to live i wrote evertone letters sasying goodbye i freaking prated to god to forgive me and that im sorry i wanted him in my llife so id goo to heaven
i can't live like this anymore.
i’m on the last straw. all i do is cry, everything reminds me of him. i just want to go away to rehab..like emotional rehab to get away from everything, from reminders of him, from my phone, from facebook.
I'm so pathetic.
someone take my phone away from me. I just know one message I send will hit his heart and he’ll realize he’s supposed to be with me. In reality though, why entertain the girl who you know is there for you? What’s the fun in that, guys like the chase, but I just know if I leave him alone he’ll forget about me and all we had. I have guys texting me and this one guy who seems...
i think i might just
vodkasexweed:
go back to sleep. i slept 16 hours already last night, but sleep is the only time where everything is alright. where things are back to how they used to be. when my dreams are happy memories of what we used to have.
maybe i'll go watch ...
(500) days of summer he’s just not that into you The notebook and then kill myself.
my intake after this.
saturday: nothing, tried to eat outback ,ordered a steak, a potato and a ceasar salad. ate one bite of steak, a couple bites of salad, then couldn’t keep it down. sunday: nothing. monday: half a cup of broccoli cheddar soup from panera and a couple nibbles of bread tuesday: attempted to eat a ceasar salad and mashed potatoes from tgi fridays, ate two bites of mashed potatoes and some...
Update.
He works for a company that works my dad, and my dad had a “little talk with him”, he basically said he doesn’t appreciate the way he treated me, that he doesn’t appreciate him leading me on, then getting a new girlfriend, but still using me until the last minute, he doesn’t appreciate him messaging me saying, “she’s here..she says hi :)” Brian said...
You didn’t love her. You just didn’t want to be...
"Never tell your problems to anyone. 20% don't...
cannablissful:
- Lou Holtz
What I wouldn't give to kiss you more time..
we didn’t get to the last time I saw you because you had a coldsore, all I want is one more hug where it feels like you don’t want to let go, one more kiss where you melt me to the core and I get weak in the knees. I wish things didn’t end this way, I’ll never have closure..I hope to God I have the strength to get over this.
currently cry to every song, ever.
taylor swift, i never thought i’d relate to your songs, but every single one hits the heart and i find myself crying like a freaking baby. As well as the song Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri. Hell, I cry to freaking rap songs now, things that remind me of him, which is pretty much anywhere in Brandon. I can’t drive down his main road, and I need to go down it to get to class..I need...
konfusion: So much drama while tumblr was down, of... →
christine-cleveland:
konfusionxo:
My ex and I officially don’t have contact..sorta. He started hanging out with an immature high school bitch who is fugly, and ugh, whatever, even though he said we could still work on it, if you’ve been following me I’m sure you’ve seen my posts about it. Well, they went out on a date and…
lol i facebook stalked and WTF who the helll is that girl?
she...
feathersnlace replied to your post: I’m so beyond hurting right now. The best thing you can do is block his account and hers, that way you wont be tempted to constantly look at them, the more you look the more it hurts, I know i’ve been there! You need to do it, protect yourself, protect your heart!
whitefluffycloud replied to your post: I’m so beyond hurting right now. If you ever...
I'm so beyond hurting right now.
How can you give up 7 months of progress, of a relationship, over a girl you met on Facebook one week ago. An immature girl, he “liked” her comment of “So suck on that Meagan”, he’s posting YouTube videos to her wall that we used to watch together…
I can’t do this, I can’t take this. Part of me feels like dying, not that I’d ever, ever commit suicide, I just wish I’d never been born. Why can’t...
So much drama while tumblr was down, of course.
My ex and I officially don’t have contact..sorta. He started hanging out with an immature high school bitch who is fugly, and ugh, whatever, even though he said we could still work on it, if you’ve been following me I’m sure you’ve seen my posts about it. Well, they went out on a date and yesterday they hung out. Her status that afternoon was “Had such an awesome day with Brian! :D Crazy Bitch,...
don't make someone a priority when you're hardly...
GAINESVILLE HERE I COME.
Signed my sublease today, registered for classes at Santa Fe. Just got to wait until sub lease goes through and it’s all official, then I’m in Gainesville and outta this bumfuck town called Brandon, Florida.
we-should-fuck-now-that-i asked: http://g-mac.tumblr.com/post/2060276077/lmao-idiot
November 2010
72 posts
didn't go to class today, open my school e-mails...
vandelagemaat said: Sublease if you hate it. I’m in the apartment biz here in Tally. It’s easy to sublease
Oh true, I didn’t even think of that. Thanks! That makes this whole process a little less stressful.
I want to move to Gainesville but...
The apartments I can afford, (the ones that offer individual leases) are 12 month, yes 12 months as in ONE YEAR leases. What if I hate it? I have to stick it out for a year? But then again, I hate living here and I’ve had to stick it out for almost 19 years…
Dear Heart,
Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
moscowstars asked: I'm sorry to hear about that experience with your family. I understand what it feels like to be part of a crazy family. Just keep in mind that things will get better. Tomorrow is another day. <3
I really hope
everything works out and come January 2011 I’ll be in Gainesville. Living on my own, and out of the sucktown that is Brandon, Florida.
Currently Watching 500 days of summer.
I always, ALWAYS thought I related with Summer, but I relate with Tom. I’m not a cold hearted bitch who doesn’t believe in love. I just said that because I was scared I’d never find love, it’s easier to say you don’t believe in something than it is to accept that something you believe in will never happen to you.
“you know what sucks? realizing everything you...
Rant about my crazy "family"
We go to the Cheesecake Factory, everything is fine, we’re laughing having a grand ole time. We walk around the mall, I needed to check my hours anyway, so we go to my store my sister gets some jeans and we leave. Her stomach starts to hurt, and she wants to go to a meeting (she goes to AA, but she already went to a meeting that day and my mom said she had to do her Online school first,...
i honestly feel like im on some messed up reality tv show about a person who’s grown up living in the worlds most dysfunctional family. how much longer? i’ve been here 18 years, i’d like to collect my prize of a livelong stay in a padded cell.
i get such a rush deleting people off of facebook,...
kept everyone i care about, and people who offer lurk worthy pictures.
got off a ten hour shift 2 hours ago, been soaking...
now to best buy with my momma to keep the boy a christmas gift!
moscowstars asked: Thanks so much for making that "old ass people of tumblr unite" banner. It's going on my blog :P
electric-voltage asked: OH MY GOD, this is the BEST thing I have ever seen in my life!!!!! I love it so much! AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. You seriously just made my night! So hilarious.
love when i comment on someone's status, then i...
and it’s ALWAYS a creeper guy with their shirt off taking a mirror picture. do they think girls swoon over that shit? you have a half naked mirror picture lemme suck your cock now.
no.
here's to a new life in 2011 living in gainesville
let’s go.
so, who else is sitting home alone, ate some steak...
just me? am i the only one doing this?
oheynaye replied to your post: everyone go can fuck themselves.
i literally thought these exact same words this morning. EXACT. SAME. WORDS. in the same order.
you’re the only exception.
unconformity asked: lol figured you needed a hug... .so .. .. *hug.. lol..
everyone go can fuck themselves.
1 tag
"I barely got any sleep last night..I only got...
My sister, explaining why she’s grumpy. I mean, it’s understandable, she usually gets 11-14.
1 tag
Jesus Lord Almighty.
Next semester will be HEAVEN. No longer will I have to wake up at the ungodly hour of 6am. Hallelujah. Hopefully I’ll be waking up in my own apartment, holla @ cha gurrrl ~
Watching Rugrats & Doing College Homework.
1 tag
Might be getting an apartment soon.
So, so excited.
1 tag
Hey, what are you doing tonight?
Watching wedding videos on Youtube and crying? Oh wait…that’s me.